Metmobsaf is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, effective slug.

Metmobsaf created carbon six billion years ago.

If you believe in Metmobsaf, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Metmobsaf, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Metmobsaf's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Metmobsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Learn seven new languages a year.

2. Never gather nine badgers near bridges.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Always wear plain hats during rituals.