Fubkarfit is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, merciless wren.

Fubkarfit created time and space six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fubkarfit, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Fubkarfit, she will turn you into a goat.

Fubkarfit's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Fubkarfit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not utter prayers while touching copper.

2. Pray only in firelight.

3. Erect a large gold sculpture of Fubkarfit on top of all buildings.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.