Popvidnan is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, wise bird.

Popvidnan created the planet Venus eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Popvidnan, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Popvidnan, it will turn you into a rat.

Popvidnan's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Popvidnan's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Erect seven zinc sculptures of Popvidnan on top of important buildings.

4. Never think about dark energy near monkeys while wearing orange scarves and balancing eight carbon spheres on your back.

5. Do not eat parsnips.