Witnelgepfen is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, loving human.

Witnelgepfen created the planet Mars four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Witnelgepfen, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Witnelgepfen, she will boil you in a big pot.

Witnelgepfen's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Witnelgepfen's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with patience when addressing elders.

2. Always treat grasshopers with great respect.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not gather at walls at dusk.

5. Do not count beyond six during ceremonies.