Fasxucnibquag is a god.

She takes the form of a large, awesome beaver.

Fasxucnibquag created carbon two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fasxucnibquag, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Fasxucnibquag, she will turn you into a worm.

Fasxucnibquag's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Fasxucnibquag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not bounce in public.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fasxucnibquag.