Miphabgig is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, smart porpoise.

Miphabgig created humankind four billion years ago.

If you believe in Miphabgig, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Miphabgig, it will throw large rocks at you.

Miphabgig's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Miphabgig's Holy Commandments

1. Miphabgig loves tortoises, so they must be respected.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. You must pray to Miphabgig seven times a day.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never eat coconuts.