Larnpidzimrullton is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, unjust mink.

Larnpidzimrullton created an electron nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Larnpidzimrullton, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Larnpidzimrullton, it will turn you into a worm.

Larnpidzimrullton's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Larnpidzimrullton's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat melons.

2. Never paint your arms mauve.

3. Do not hurt great tits.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Do not trade with those who eat bananas.