Vabstigweg is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, sapient cow.

Vabstigweg created the Whirlpool Galaxy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Vabstigweg, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Vabstigweg, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Vabstigweg's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Vabstigweg's Holy Commandments

1. Never adorn your back with pink markings.

2. Never think about thermodynamics near manatees while wearing violet jumpers and balancing eight platinum spheres on your arms.

3. Always store coconuts above ground.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never travel toward the west during autumn.