Pogsakzimkan Bopzakbed is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, fast porpoise.

Pogsakzimkan Bopzakbed created a charm quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pogsakzimkan Bopzakbed, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Pogsakzimkan Bopzakbed, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Pogsakzimkan Bopzakbed's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Pogsakzimkan Bopzakbed's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about moons.

2. Remain prostrate during prayer.

3. Never wear fawn scarves.

4. Never eat oranges.

5. Never touch ash while clean.