Dadhomgam Gilzedquim is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, moody raccoon.

Dadhomgam Gilzedquim created a strange quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dadhomgam Gilzedquim, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Dadhomgam Gilzedquim, she will ignore you.

Dadhomgam Gilzedquim's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Dadhomgam Gilzedquim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Erect seven copper sculptures of Dadhomgam Gilzedquim on top of important buildings.

3. Do not keep nine sharks in a large pit.

4. Never talk about thermodynamics.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.