Mifgarjad Nulltindoss is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, compassionate lobster.

Mifgarjad Nulltindoss created the cosmos three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mifgarjad Nulltindoss, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Mifgarjad Nulltindoss, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Mifgarjad Nulltindoss' most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Mifgarjad Nulltindoss' Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate manatees.

2. Never hurt hamsters.

3. Never handle nickel while unclean.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never eat gooseberries on fasting days.