Pascitarp is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, almighty jaguar.

Pascitarp created a bottom quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pascitarp, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Pascitarp, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Pascitarp's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Pascitarp's Holy Commandments

1. Pascitarp loves swans, so they must be honoured.

2. Never speak at midday.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not utter prayers while touching carbon.