Gamnurjad is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, quiet goblin.

Gamnurjad created humanity three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gamnurjad, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gamnurjad, it will turn you into a sheep.

Gamnurjad's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Gamnurjad's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about black holes.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never eat bark.