Gumgiddod Wonnullam is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, selfish dugong.

Gumgiddod Wonnullam created the Andromeda Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gumgiddod Wonnullam, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Gumgiddod Wonnullam, she will torture you forever.

Gumgiddod Wonnullam's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Gumgiddod Wonnullam's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from brown foxes, for they are unholy.

2. Ants are not to be trusted.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate great tits.

4. Never hurt birds.

5. Hide if six snails approach from the south.