Batsaglarg is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, capable naga.

Batsaglarg created the Large Magellanic Cloud three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Batsaglarg, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Batsaglarg, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Batsaglarg's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Batsaglarg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not laugh in public.

2. Do not keep three sheep in a large pit.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Batsaglarg.

4. Batsaglarg must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.