Dossfetcit is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, idiotic whale.

Dossfetcit created the cosmos five million years ago.

If you believe in Dossfetcit, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Dossfetcit, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Dossfetcit's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Dossfetcit's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never think ill of sick grasshopers.

3. Always help turtles in need.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never approach forests carrying stone.