Honrilhinfenhub is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, contented slug.

Honrilhinfenhub created the cosmos five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Honrilhinfenhub, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Honrilhinfenhub, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Honrilhinfenhub's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Honrilhinfenhub's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no cats in a building before entering it.

2. Erect a giant pink sculpture of Honrilhinfenhub in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

5. Run away if five great tits approach from the west.