Kemfud Madkabort is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, unfair cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Kemfud Madkabort created a quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Kemfud Madkabort, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Kemfud Madkabort, he will be very sad.

Kemfud Madkabort's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Kemfud Madkabort's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Always treat mice with great respect.

4. You must love Kemfud Madkabort.

5. Never feed corn to snails while wearing jumpers.