Fatyimyak is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, charitable octopus.

Fatyimyak created parasitic wasps five billion years ago.

If you believe in Fatyimyak, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Fatyimyak, it will turn you into a frog.

Fatyimyak's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Fatyimyak's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant brown sculpture of Fatyimyak in the centre of the settlement.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Erect a large gold sculpture of Fatyimyak on top of all buildings.

4. Never talk about dogs.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fatyimyak.