Tenwotken Cutlaghom is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, two-faced crocodile.

Tenwotken Cutlaghom created a quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tenwotken Cutlaghom, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tenwotken Cutlaghom, he will be mildly annoyed.

Tenwotken Cutlaghom's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Tenwotken Cutlaghom's Holy Commandments

1. Never leap in the presence of nematodes.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Always treat swans with great respect.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never talk about chlorophyll.