Gem Bomfonnil is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, caring monkey.

Gem Bomfonnil created a top quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gem Bomfonnil, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Gem Bomfonnil, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Gem Bomfonnil's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Gem Bomfonnil's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak of chaos in the presence of strangers.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Moths are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never approach rivers carrying wood.