Fligbenkapwigkenjarnsand Dadstignad is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, loving crane.

Fligbenkapwigkenjarnsand Dadstignad created the Milkyway six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fligbenkapwigkenjarnsand Dadstignad, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Fligbenkapwigkenjarnsand Dadstignad, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Fligbenkapwigkenjarnsand Dadstignad's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Fligbenkapwigkenjarnsand Dadstignad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill cats.

2. Worship no other gods but Fligbenkapwigkenjarnsand Dadstignad.

3. Do not name children after pigs.

4. Never write about dark matter.

5. Do not prepare peas while wearing rings.