Nabnilfag is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, stupid dolphin.

Nabnilfag created the Virgo Supercluster six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nabnilfag, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Nabnilfag, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Nabnilfag's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Nabnilfag's Holy Commandments

1. Nabnilfag must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not resist fate.

3. Never hurt snails.

4. Never think about quantum field theory near tortoises while wearing pink boots and balancing six silicon spheres on your back.

5. Always wear plain hats during rituals.