Flanvonflab Pidladbad is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, able giraffe.

Flanvonflab Pidladbad created Asia six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flanvonflab Pidladbad, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Flanvonflab Pidladbad, she will laugh at you.

Flanvonflab Pidladbad's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Flanvonflab Pidladbad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep seven manatees in a large pit.

2. Never think about ultrasonics near sharks while wearing brown boots and balancing five silver spheres on your legs.

3. Never wear kilts.

4. Erect a giant turquoise sculpture of Flanvonflab Pidladbad in the centre of the settlement.

5. Always face the east before whisper.