Stermilnan Larnbimnakstrag is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, staggering octopus.

Stermilnan Larnbimnakstrag created the planet Mars three million years ago.

If you believe in Stermilnan Larnbimnakstrag, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Stermilnan Larnbimnakstrag, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Stermilnan Larnbimnakstrag's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Stermilnan Larnbimnakstrag's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Stermilnan Larnbimnakstrag four times a day.

2. Never run in the presence of moths.

3. Never paint your face brown.

4. Always make sure there are no snakes in a room before entering it.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.