Bumkonrulrap is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, omniscient finch.

Bumkonrulrap created dark matter nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bumkonrulrap, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bumkonrulrap, it will turn you into a frog.

Bumkonrulrap's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Bumkonrulrap's Holy Commandments

1. Never fashion tools from clay.

2. Never talk about planets.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

5. Never talk about grasshopers.