Ditbumhin is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, temperamental squid.

Ditbumhin created a down quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ditbumhin, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Ditbumhin, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Ditbumhin's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Ditbumhin's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed beans to mites while wearing corsets.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Always help sick doves.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near rats while wearing cyan dresses and balancing nine zinc spheres on your arms.

5. Do not drink water in blue rooms.