Sandquatflig is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, merciful ferret.

Sandquatflig created an up quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Sandquatflig, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Sandquatflig, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Sandquatflig's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Sandquatflig's Holy Commandments

1. Always face the west before speaking sacred words.

2. Mites are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Do not keep seven grasshopers in a large pit.

5. Never stain your back with yellow.