Dotgargut Tignurtsig is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, irritating faun.

Dotgargut Tignurtsig created an atom three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dotgargut Tignurtsig, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Dotgargut Tignurtsig, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Dotgargut Tignurtsig's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Dotgargut Tignurtsig's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Always treat frogs with great respect.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force near nematodes while wearing purple hats and balancing seven tin spheres on your head.

5. You must love Dotgargut Tignurtsig.