Sagbomtig is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, tranquil mink.

Sagbomtig created the planet Mars five million years ago.

If you believe in Sagbomtig, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Sagbomtig, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Sagbomtig's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Sagbomtig's Holy Commandments

1. Put Sagbomtig first in all things.

2. Always look after injured tapirs.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not utter prayers while touching platinum.

5. Do not step barefoot upon turquoise earth.