Yartnigbess is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, two-faced swallow.

Yartnigbess created oxygen nine million years ago.

If you believe in Yartnigbess, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Yartnigbess, she will turn you into a hamster.

Yartnigbess' most sacred site is Evol in France.

Yartnigbess' Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

3. Never talk about stars.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Always help shrews.