Sandwipmum is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, charitable rhinoceros.

Sandwipmum created energy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sandwipmum, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Sandwipmum, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Sandwipmum's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Sandwipmum's Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse blood with water.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. You must pray to Sandwipmum three times a day.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never prepare corn during spring.