Hakrancid is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, idiotic fly.

Hakrancid created dark energy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Hakrancid, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Hakrancid, it will try to impress you with trees.

Hakrancid's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Hakrancid's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate monkeys.