Zedbotlen is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, unsympathetic dove.

Zedbotlen created matter six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zedbotlen, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Zedbotlen, he will turn you into a plant.

Zedbotlen's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Zedbotlen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear cyan clothing.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never think about amino acids.

5. Do not cook food in pots.