Bogminbagnat is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, all-powerful pig.

Bogminbagnat created a charm quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bogminbagnat, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bogminbagnat, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Bogminbagnat's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Bogminbagnat's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never bounce near monkeys.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Always help tapirs.

5. Retreat if seven turtles approach from the east.