Tafmobtonkjadhapwikgut is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, fast duck.

Tafmobtonkjadhapwikgut created an up quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tafmobtonkjadhapwikgut, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tafmobtonkjadhapwikgut, he will not invite you to parties.

Tafmobtonkjadhapwikgut's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Tafmobtonkjadhapwikgut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not name children after porpoises.

2. Never tolerate laughter in holy places.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tafmobtonkjadhapwikgut.

5. Never remain prostrate during dusk.