Kamsinnad is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, unsympathetic dryad.

Kamsinnad created the planet Jupiter three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kamsinnad, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Kamsinnad, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Kamsinnad's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Kamsinnad's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention tapirs.

2. Feed all hungry porpoises.

3. Never talk about dark energy near tortoises while wearing blue hats.

4. Always help birds.

5. Never go into turquoise rooms.