Fentailcap is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, merciful unicorn.

Fentailcap created a bottom quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fentailcap, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Fentailcap, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Fentailcap's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Fentailcap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Put Fentailcap first in all things.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never eat green fruit.