Tofmumlarnmin Timwotbest is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, vain jaguar.

Tofmumlarnmin Timwotbest created a Higgs boson two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tofmumlarnmin Timwotbest, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Tofmumlarnmin Timwotbest, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Tofmumlarnmin Timwotbest's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Tofmumlarnmin Timwotbest's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ribonucleic acid.

2. Never think about gravity near foxes while wearing green kilts and balancing five gold spheres on your feet.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near badgers while wearing brown trousers.

4. Never wear scarves.

5. Tofmumlarnmin Timwotbest loves squirrels, so they must be respected.