Sasmoncat is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, humorless donkey.

Sasmoncat created a Higgs boson three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sasmoncat, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Sasmoncat, she will torture you forever.

Sasmoncat's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Sasmoncat's Holy Commandments

1. Learn five new languages a year.

2. You must love Sasmoncat.

3. Never think about archaea.

4. Feed all hungry geese.

5. Pray towards the east.