Bamlablag is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, all-knowing squirrel.

Bamlablag created an atom eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bamlablag, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Bamlablag, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Bamlablag's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Bamlablag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Worship no other gods but Bamlablag.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not cook food in pots.