Tikzogcapgab is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, bad-tempered lobster.

Tikzogcapgab created a Higgs boson three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tikzogcapgab, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Tikzogcapgab, she will not care.

Tikzogcapgab's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Tikzogcapgab's Holy Commandments

1. Always face the west before proclaim.

2. Do not gather at wells at dawn.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Always remove scarves before touching titanium.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.