Wigyartwon Rattarnantip is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, emotional dolphin.

Wigyartwon Rattarnantip created dark matter five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wigyartwon Rattarnantip, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Wigyartwon Rattarnantip, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Wigyartwon Rattarnantip's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Wigyartwon Rattarnantip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Sharks are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never leap near cats.

5. Never talk about bats.