Witafnul is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, clever hyena.

Witafnul created a down quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Witafnul, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Witafnul, he will be very sad.

Witafnul's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Witafnul's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never eat rice.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate horses.

4. Witafnul loves hamsters, so they must be respected.

5. Do not make images of living things.