Gumcunbet is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, competent ant.

Gumcunbet created a top quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gumcunbet, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Gumcunbet, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Gumcunbet's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Gumcunbet's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in the presence of elders.

2. Do not prepare wheat while wearing hats.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Gumcunbet.

4. Erect a giant orange sculpture of Gumcunbet in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never allow frogs to witness sacred rites.