Begpagpid is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, loving elephant.

Begpagpid created the universe nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Begpagpid, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Begpagpid, she will turn you into a sheep.

Begpagpid's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Begpagpid's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dogs.

2. Begpagpid must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never chant in the presence of nematodes.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.