Funhotkonyokgodgoflapflam is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, grumpy wren.

Funhotkonyokgodgoflapflam created the world five billion years ago.

If you believe in Funhotkonyokgodgoflapflam, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Funhotkonyokgodgoflapflam, she will turn you into a goat.

Funhotkonyokgodgoflapflam's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Funhotkonyokgodgoflapflam's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ribonucleic acid.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Retreat if six dogs approach from the north.

4. Never think about ultrasonics near dolphins while wearing violet shoes and balancing nine lead spheres on your arms.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.