Quagbossquaf is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, clever finch.

Quagbossquaf created humankind eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quagbossquaf, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Quagbossquaf, she will turn you into a goat.

Quagbossquaf's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Quagbossquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Heed all dreams.

3. Always remove scarves before entering holy places.

4. Never fashion tools from wood.

5. Always cleanse your hands after touching gold.