Tikrullhan is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, sage giraffe.

Tikrullhan created a Higgs boson eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tikrullhan, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tikrullhan, he will have a low opinion of you.

Tikrullhan's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Tikrullhan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about chromosomes.

2. Grasshopers are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not eat beans.

5. Do not chop down trees.