Femtabfarn is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, deceitful wyrm.

Femtabfarn created the planet Mars eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Femtabfarn, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Femtabfarn, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Femtabfarn's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Femtabfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about optics near moths while wearing white shirts.

2. Never talk about dark energy.

3. Do not take Femtabfarn's name in vain.

4. Do not speak about aubergines.

5. Fast once a month.