Begyimcip is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, self-confident toad.

Begyimcip created the planet Earth three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Begyimcip, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Begyimcip, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Begyimcip's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Begyimcip's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about spacetime.

2. Monkeys are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Always help nematodes in need.

4. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.

5. Never think about comets.