Lanwigken Safortlab is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, sapient eagle.

Lanwigken Safortlab created the Milkyway two billion years ago.

If you believe in Lanwigken Safortlab, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Lanwigken Safortlab, he will refuse to believe in you.

Lanwigken Safortlab's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Lanwigken Safortlab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark matter near tortoises while wearing orange stockings.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Never talk about electromagnetism.

5. Never run near frogs.