Capcabfod Voghotligrul is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, omniscient salamander.

Capcabfod Voghotligrul created dark matter eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Capcabfod Voghotligrul, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Capcabfod Voghotligrul, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Capcabfod Voghotligrul's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Capcabfod Voghotligrul's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

4. Do not dye your hair cyan.

5. Do not shave your legs.